dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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