I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
