Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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