Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
