What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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