I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
