I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
