What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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