Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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