You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
