addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
