you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
it glows. i had to have it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
