idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
its not stalking. its research.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
