Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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