Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
