I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
