I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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