I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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