my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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