Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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