I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
