i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
