he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
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