But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he fucked my hip out of place.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm sobbing to NWA
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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