Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
