no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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