i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
