I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize