3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
