Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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