If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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