She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
