On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
