No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
