how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
