Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
