If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
