Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
