just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish life had little blips of pornography
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
