my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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