so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
