very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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