does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
