I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
