I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
