i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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