if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
