Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
