What a fucking waste of an outfit
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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