where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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