He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
