you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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