Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's blow job season.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
