so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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