she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Two words: blizzard sex
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize