last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
