good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
