It's Friday. Sex?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
