idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
jump out the window naked night went bad
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
