and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize