a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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