im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
