rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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