You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
