operation harelip BJ is a go
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
