never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
