we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
